Homeschool Surprises

a fun math activity (and a carpet in need of vacuuming)

Surprises are not my favourite.

I would rather know what's coming. I would rather be prepared. I would rather not be caught off guard.

Enter parenting, followed a few years later by homeschooling, and the closest it seemed I ever got to a "Would you rather?" was "Would you rather help a frustrated kid with math or clean up the box of Cheerios that the toddler emptied onto the kitchen floor?"

The unpredictability of those first years of parenting and homeschool was intense and overwhelming. Now that we're a decade into this homeschooling adventure, we've settled into a rhythm of sorts, and there aren't quite so many surprises. Yet, there are a few things about homeschooling that continue to surprise me:

1) There is ALWAYS more cleaning to do. I have lost count of the number of times the garbage needs to be emptied, the hand towels end up in the sink, the dishwasher needs to be refilled, and the toilet paper rolls hang empty. It turns out that so many people in a house all day create a pretty big mess (and that's without taking into account empty milk bags and rogue granola bar wrappers).

2) It is so easy to overschedule. At first, I envisioned being at home would mean free time and lazy days. And while I value the freedom we have with our time, somehow I am still surprised when our weeks fill up with lessons, activities, appointments, and errands. We’re not exactly cuddling on the couch, sipping tea, and reading books together all day. The couch is more likely to have been stripped of cushions and covered in random toys that I am forbidden from moving while I microwave my tea (again), calculate how long it's going to take to finish science before dentist appointments, and consider whether it's ok to serve peanut butter toast and fruit for a third day in a row for lunch. (In case you're wondering, the answer is yes.)

3) Most parents who don't homeschool assume I am more patient that they are. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I must be “so patient” or that they could never homeschool because they’re not as patient as I am, I bet it would purchase next year’s science curriculum. I can almost guarantee that aside from a bit of prayer and a lot of faith, my home and I have never been gifted magical patience. I’ll spare you the gory details, but you can ask my kids sometime if you’d like.

4) No two homeschooling families are alike. We stay up late and sleep in, use a mix of curriculum, schedule our day loosely, and spend as much time as we can in nature. I am not very good at involving my kids in chores, cleaning the floor, or art lessons, but give me a muddy pair of socks and I will have those stains out in no time. I know some families who avoid anything muddy and others whose houses are filled with art supplies and others who clean the floor every day. I know of a few who follow very little curriculum at all and a handful who schedule their day down to the minute. Somehow we all make it work.

5) Others' responses to my decision to homeschool are not usually about me. I recently spoke with a woman with adult children--children who started kindergarten decades ago--whose first response to finding out I homeschool was to share her story. She wanted me to know that she thought about homeschooling, but that it just wouldn't have been right for her or her kids. She shared that they needed more social interaction than she would've been able to provide and that their neighbourhood school was a really good one. First, I wanted to take it personally. She's not question my ability to provide social opportunities for my kids, is she? How dare she suggest homeschooling is only a good decision in certain circumstances? But what we both needed was to know that it's okay, that we can make different decisions for our families and both be getting something right. I am not a threat and neither is she.

6) It’s not always fun and creative. Yes, our lessons are sometimes fun and hands on and involve games everyone wants to play. Many times, though, we are struggling through writing projects and early readers, and I grit my teeth and try to smile through the broken record of “Are we done yet?" The jury's out on whether that's a quote from one of daughters or myself.

How has homeschooling been surprising for you?

By: Kate Croft